If you had told me last week that a rugby referee would teach me more about managing workplace conflict than any leadership book, I would have raised an eyebrow. And yet, thanks to our recent Managing Personalities and Conflict workshop, led by me, Kingsley Johnson of Kinetic People Development and Olympian-turned-coach Annie Vernon, that’s exactly what happened.
In our action-packed, interactive virtual session, a team of managers delved into the wonderful (and sometimes wacky) world of human personalities, conflict resolution and active listening. We covered DISC personality profiling, the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument and—because it wouldn’t be a workplace workshop without it—the fine art of nodding while pretending not to be secretly composing a shopping list in your head.
To take things up a notch, we were joined by none other than international rugby referee Holly Wood, who provided a masterclass in handling high-pressure situations. Because, let’s face it, if she can keep a group of burly rugby players from tearing each other to shreds, surely managers can handle a passive-aggressive email chain about food in the office fridge being thrown away if it is not claimed.
Personalities, Conflict, and the Joy of Self-Discovery
First up, DISC profiling. The managers learned that people generally fall into four personality categories: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance. Or, as I like to call them: The Bulldozer, The Social Butterfly, The Zen Master and The Spreadsheet Enthusiast.
It turns out, managing conflict often comes down to understanding who you’re dealing with. Do they prefer blunt honesty (D)? Need a moment to talk it out over a coffee (I)? Want to resolve things calmly and diplomatically (S)? Or will they send you a beautifully formatted PowerPoint detailing their grievances (C)? The trick, we learned, is to adapt your approach accordingly—and not to take it personally when the Spreadsheet Enthusiast emails you feedback in bullet points.
Thomas-Kilmann and The Office Tug-of-War
Next, they tackled the Thomas-Kilmann model, which identifies five conflict resolution styles: Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Avoiding and Accommodating. In other words: "I'm right!", "Let's work together!", "How about we both suffer a little?", "If I hide, maybe it will go away?" and "Fine, have it your way. I didn’t even want that last muffin anyway."
Kingsley and Annie guided the team of managers through scenarios that felt eerily familiar—team members dodging accountability, passive-aggressive meeting remarks and the classic "reply-all" email disaster. By the end, everyone had a much clearer understanding of their default conflict styles (and, possibly, why colleagues sometimes avoid each other in the corridors).
Holly Wood’s Masterclass in Diffusing Chaos
Then came the highlight of the session: Holly Wood. Watching her talk about de-escalating tense situations on the rugby pitch was like watching a magician at work. She shared how split-second decisions, authority and communication (verbal and non-verbal) are critical in keeping a game under control.
The takeaway? Managers need to be clear, firm, and fair. And if all else fails, perhaps try blowing a whistle loudly at your next staff meeting. (Disclaimer: Results may vary.)
Key Lessons and a Few Laughs Later…
By the end of the workshop, the team had a newfound appreciation for handling conflict, understanding different personalities and listening actively—like, actually listening, not just waiting for their turn to talk.
So, what did they learn? That managing conflict isn’t about avoiding it, but about understanding people, staying calm under pressure and occasionally channelling your inner rugby referee.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a spreadsheet to prepare… in bullet points, of course.
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