Have you ever found yourself thinking something like, “that person is ALWAYS doing that? S/he doesn’t think about anyone else, which is why they are doing that again.” This will apply to our spouses, colleagues, children and friends. We all have a set of preconceived ideas that colour our attitude to the world, and to other people. But have you ever considered that your attitude affects the behaviour of others that you see? That’s where the Betari Box comes in.
Remember kids at school, always getting into trouble, who the teachers are constantly chiding because they’ve lost patience with them? Eventually, they know that they are the troublemakers and the chances are that this is how they will continue to behave.
This is another example of the Betari box, which is another way of explaining that people live up to your expectations of them, and vice versa. Your attitude towards another person shapes their behaviour towards you, which informs your attitude and hence your behaviour.
Here’s a diagram which sums it up far more clearly:
The Betari box is a mental model that shows how your attitudes affect the way other people respond to you, and therefore, if you change your attitudes towards others, you can cause them to change their behaviour towards you.
People respond to their environment, and YOUR behaviour is part of THEIR environment.
Your behaviour is also an expression of your attitudes.
If you have a positive attitude towards the person you are meeting, then your attitude will affect every aspect of your communication. Your attitude will affect your facial expression, your voice tones, and the words you use. Your attitude will affect your level of respect and how much you pay attention to the other person.
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Here at Kinetic we love using exercises to illustrate how the Betari box has an impact on how you build relationships at work. We will get you thinking about how the Betari box works, what it means for you and your colleagues and clients, and how to improve your workplace interactions and relationships.